The Facebook status update field is too short for my rant

Just got a “new and improved” “Explanation of Benefits” in the mail from our USA health insurer, Cigna, and by golly, it must have gone through some PR department. I SAVED 95%. No hang on, I only saved 90%. No hang on, I actually saved 91%!

Yes my dearies, I have THREE EOBs from the Wee One getting ear tubes. One is from the facility, one is from the ENT doctor, and one is from the anesthesiologist. Shall we discuss the fact that we have a $10 or 10% copay, for which we pay for, and the payments never get counted? No, we’ll just pretend that it’s all magic and that you SAAAAAVED! (grumble).

The really scary part. Even though we SAAAAAVED upwards of 90%, the total bill still comes to more than $400 (50,000 isk). Don’t ever get sick in the USA (although, surprisingly, if a preemie is born less than 1500g, that baby automatically qualifies for evil socialistic MediCal state health insurance, and you don’t have to pay a thing. Ain’t politics and policy weird?!)

(For those living in socialist Europe, an EOB is a piece of paper telling you how much the doctor/hospital charged (X), how much of a discount, Y, Cigna got (all insurance companies have secret agreements with various institutions/doctors that magically lower any incoming bill by an apparently random amount), then what Cigna actually paid (0.9*(X-Y) or (X-Y)-$10 depending on what it is), and what I’m supposed to pay (0.1*(X-Y) or $10). And at the bottom, there’s now a BIG CIRCLED NUMBER with how much “You saved” (0.9(X-Y)/X or (X-10)/X). And that’s only if everything is processed “correctly”. They often make mistakes, usually mistakes that cost the patient money. How is a “normal” person supposed to keep track of this?!?! Much less make “informed” decisions on which treatment to go for? GAA!)